Is it messed up?

Hello Ladies

Message edited 11/4/2009 10:37:49 AM.

Re: Is it messed up?

I am sort of going through the same thing.

FH's Sister just got engaged last new years, and I got engaged this September.
I wanted a November 2011 wedding which she knew but 2 weeks before I got engaged she went and booked her wedding for July 2011.
I was a little upset because I knew I wanted a 2011 wedding, but since I wasnt engaged yet, I brushed it off... Then 2 weeks later I was engaged and because FH comes from an old school Italian family and it would be disrespectful to have 2 weddings so close to each other I had to push back my wedding to 2012!!!
So now because of his sister booking her wedding 2 years away, I have to wait 3!!!

So I sort of know how you are feeling and it *****!!! I hope everything works out for you!!

Re: Is it messed up?

JMO but, i would never tell someone when they can or cant get married, just because i was engaged and planning my own wedding...

Re: Is it messed up?

Obviously I am NOT telling them when they can or cant get married. They are booking the date. I am only asking for honest opinions, if I should be upset or not. I am going to take that as not to. Thanks

Re: Is it messed up?

Sure it's ok to be upset, but don't take it to heart, too much!
You have your own wedding to worry about!!

Good luck with everything!

Re: Is it messed up?

I am with you. I am worried about something similar. I waited for my brother to finalize his wedding plans before FH and I decided to pick dates and start looking at venues for our wedding. But now, FH's brother is talking about proposing to his GF. We have waited over seven years for this and by the time we will get married it'll be 8 years. It seems my brother, his brother, and us will probably end up getting married all within the same timeframe. I guess that means it's normal but it annoys and upsets me.

Re: Is it messed up?

wow this happens often I guess if three of us are already in similar situations!

Re: Is it messed up?

I am not in this situation as all our siblings are younger thank god, but I think its pretty inconsiderate on their part. I know a family who had the wedding of their daughter the last weekend in July and August first her older brother mailed out his invitations, which I thought was pretty lousy. He couldn't wait even a few days just to give her time to be the bride.

Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by laurendaqt

Obviously I am NOT telling them when they can or cant get married. They are booking the date. I am only asking for honest opinions, if I should be upset or not. I am going to take that as not to. Thanks

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Re: Is it messed up?

ohhhhh I understand!

Fh and I waited.. his sister got married.. then mine.... we waited... we finally realized that someone besides us is always also going to be planning their wedding. If we waited we would be waiting forever.. and the bottom line is..no one is holding off for us. It just shows that noone will ever be close to how excited you are about your own wedding.

Keep your chin up and TRY not to be too pissed!

Re: Is it messed up?

There is nothing you can do about the way you feel, unfortunately. And I don't think you are wrong. My sister is getting married just 6 months after us and, I don't think she'd be upset for me to share that I went through a wide range of emotions. Happy, shocked, excited, sometimes enraged . . . but now we are totally ok. We will be each others MOHs and I truly am happy for her. The thing is, no matter how you feel at this moment, maybe a little bit like your thunder is being stolen, in the future, when none of this really matters anymore, you'll regret it if you weren't happy for her and there to support her. You may look back with regret, which I would never want to do. I want to look back at my sister's wedding with as many fond memories as I have (hopefully) of my own. FM if you need to vent.

Re: Is it messed up?

at least it's not 4 days before yours even though you were engaged for months before. don't even get me started

Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by Alyssa79

at least it's not 4 days before yours even though you were engaged for months before. don't even get me started

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Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by FallBride2012

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Posted by Alyssa79

at least it's not 4 days before yours even though you were engaged for months before. don't even get me started

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4 days?!?!?

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Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by Alyssa79

at least it's not 4 days before yours even though you were engaged for months before. don't even get me started

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Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by FallBride2012

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Posted by Alyssa79

at least it's not 4 days before yours even though you were engaged for months before. don't even get me started

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4 days?!?!?

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Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by Alyssa79

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Posted by FallBride2012

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Posted by Alyssa79

at least it's not 4 days before yours even though you were engaged for months before. don't even get me started

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4 days?!?!?

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yup. and they are family AND they are in the bridal party and the family that is coming are all OOT so they're either taking 2 trips up in 1 week or making a really long NY vacation.

EVERYONE has a right to be mad at this or upset i believe. No you cannot ask someone to get married at a certain time or not at a certain time, but you can never say you can't be mad or upset at a person for doing this. i think it's a respect issue

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Re: Is it messed up?

Look on the bright side at least it after and not before..a few girls on here were heated b/c people booked before them.

Unfortunately, others usually look at what they want.

Me personally, I could care less when someone else is getting married..except maybe if it was the same day as me

Re: Is it messed up?

Honestly...I think you are overreacting. 4 months after yours is a pretty long time, it gives people time to chill after your wedding before getting hyped up for hers. I think its unreasonable to be upset over the date that they chose, I'm sure they had a lot of reasons for choosing that particular one. You are entitled to your feelings, but at the same time I would just let it go. When you get married it is your DAY and your MONTH, sure...but not your YEAR.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but for very legit reasons FH and I planned our wedding 2 months after FSIL's and she has been giving us hell and really making our lives miserable over it...I guess I just don't want to see that happen to someone else. (Not saying you would do that...but just as an example).

Re: Is it messed up?

I don't think that I can tell you whether or not to be upset, but I really don't think that 4 months is a big deal. That's plenty of time for everyone to rest up for your big day!

Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by MikesBride2B

Honestly...I think you are overreacting. 4 months after yours is a pretty long time, it gives people time to chill after your wedding before getting hyped up for hers. I think its unreasonable to be upset over the date that they chose, I'm sure they had a lot of reasons for choosing that particular one. You are entitled to your feelings, but at the same time I would just let it go. When you get married it is your DAY and your MONTH, sure...but not your YEAR.

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Re: Is it messed up?

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Posted by laurendaqt

Hello Ladies
Is it normal for siblings to get married 4 months away from each other?

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Re: Is it messed up?

Honestly, it makes it extremely difficult for the guests, especially if you are having a lot of OOT guests. Think of the travel expenses, hotel costs, gift, outfits, etc. It adds up. And for people in the WP, forget about it if they are going to be in both! If my sister was engaged before me, I wouldn't book my wedding 4 mos. after hers. But that's just MHO.

Re: Is it messed up?

My cousin and I are getting married four months apart and I believe we are both very happy for each other. We are each in the bridal party and have really helped each other out with the planning.

I think four months is long enough....honestly I think anything over 3 months is a good amount of time to space things out.

On the other hand, you can't control how you feel. Some people would be upset and others wouldn't care. You can't control your emotions.

Re: Is it messed up?

Me and my bro are getting married 6 months apart and we don't see it as a problem. Oh yeah, and then my cousin is getting married 2 months after me.