I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !=(

AHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!
*drops head in shame*

This very nice lady in my class TOTALLY looks pregnant (you see it comin' dontcha? ). She wears these floral flowy blouses, and TOTALLY has the cute little preggo shape. When I first saw her I thought "Awe, how cute, I wonder when she's due"...

Well I just bumped into her (Im at school) and we were talking about whats due in class tonite.
and I decided to ask her about being "due" mid-semester and how teachers respond/react to that.
(I REALLY dont wanna skip next semester)...
So I go "are you due before this semester is over or after the semester is over ?"
and she goes "Oh, In not due! Dont worry EVERYONE asks me that, because of a problem I had with my last c-section, this is what I look like"..
and I felt TERRIBLE and all I could say was "Oh, im SO SORRY! Well youre adorable!"...and I actually had sat next to her, so we continued doing our online research for class tonite....

Can someone PLEASE come and staple my mouth shut ?? HOw am I going to face her all semester?
I feel so terrible I could cry, I hope I didnt hurt her feelings...

Message edited 9/25/2003 11:27:13 PM.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Awwwwwww Anna. You are such a sweetie! We all stick our foot in our mouth at some time or another. I understand how you feel though. Since you are going to see her again how about maybe a little card just apologizing again. Or invite her out for coffee after class. You never know..maybe you will make a new friend.

Either way I wouldn't worry too much. I am sure that she understands, especially since it has happened to her before.

No stapling your mouth young lady. You have too many good things to say!!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Awww Anna my love!

My mom did this once and my brothers baseball game. There was this woman who was on the heavy side but seemed to get heavier during the off season in all the right "baby spots." So, my mom went over to her and patted her tummy and was like awwwwww Im so happy for you, when are you due?? The woman took it great and said oh no hunny Im not, this is what a long winter does to you! I thought my mom was gonna die..I thought i was gonna die! LOL

We had to face her all season and the first time was a little awkward but after that we all forgot about it.

You are soooooo sweet and adorable all the time, I am sure she didnt even think twice about it. Dont worry, it seems bad now but it will be fine!

By the way, how are you feeling?!?! Im so happy for you guys if I havent already told you!!!!!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

don't feel bad Anna, I offered a non-preggo woman my seat, she just had a big belly, here I was trying to be kind and I ended up offending. It will be ok. At least you were not trying to be malicious

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Oops. It happens.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Nothing wrong when it was completley harmless

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Aww Anna, I totally sympathize with you. I am sure she gets it all the time, or else she would have looked like this ----> Just move on and be as nice as you are!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

She said that everyone says it. Don't worry about it!!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Thanks girls for the kind words
Wendy I did think of leaving her a note on her notebook saying "sorry" in some way or another, but also sometimes "They say" the longer you draw something out the worse it is.. She really did seem like it didnt phase her. and Noreen as you called it "the baby spots" She TRULY has the shape of a prego lady, and then the triangular-maternity-like shape floral blouses she wears... She doesnt look "just overweight", she just has that front belly.

And to think, I was going to ask her last week as a bunch of us were chatting (We had to work in groups for something) thank GOODNESSS i didnt!

Noreen, thanks for asking. Im feeling great! OMG about your mom and that lady!

I told John when I got home and after my first sentence "This lady in my class LOOKS pregnant" he goes "NO YOU DIDNT!!! "
and then he goes "you should have covered by saying "oh that looks JUST like one of my maternity blouses" and I go "Honey, after saying something like that, there IS NO covering!"

I guess I'll just let it go. Since she seemed ok and continued to talk to me as if nothing happened...

Gnite girls.
Thanks for listening. youre the best!

Message edited 9/25/2003 10:56:24 PM.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Anna some women DO look prego even when they are not!

It's an understandable mistake

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Awww...I know how you must feel, but she seemed to take it well. You couldn't have known!!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

ANNA

That was SUCH a harmless error! If that woman doesn't know you well enough now, eventually she will, and she will see what a true sweetie you are, and that you wouldn't dream of hurting someone's feelings. I'm sure that she didn't take offense, so PLEASE don't worry!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Honestly, if it's true that EVERYONE has asked her that same question, than I'm sure she wasn't phased by it ALL - especially from someone who TRULY IS pregnant herself. Honest mistake, sweetie...don't sweat it!

But, if you said it to me....well, I'd be

And I have to admit I'm curious...I wonder what the "problem" was with her c-section that makes her look like she's preggo now????

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Thanks guys..
Its almost like seeing a man's pot belly and we KNOW a mans not pregnant , but you know what I mean about the totally-in-front POT belly type thing, and then she wears these white A-line, cotton, floral blouses, your standard maternity type shirts! and when she walks or sits, all you see is this front belly. Not like she's big all around or really that much overweight...
Claud, I wondered the same thing, since I had a c-section and might very well have another one...

And she's in her early 40's Id say, and her youngest is 11. so she didnt JUST have a baby recently...

Message edited 9/26/2003 8:13:27 AM.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Her youngest is 11?!?!?! Wow, I'm curious, too. Like Wendy said, maybe one more apology and then definitely put it behind you. I'm sure she realizes how badly you feel.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

I've done the same EXACT thing to an old school friend. OOPPS, hey if EVERYONE does the same thing to this lady maybe she should get the hint and start dressing like she wasn't pregnant. I know I would.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Sorry but I NEVER ask anyone that question just in case they aren't or maybe they were and had a miscarriage. I know my stepmom tells me how hurt she was when someone asked her about "when is the baby due" 2 weeks after she had my brother and she cried and felt awful.

And I don't think we should judge how she dresses- if she has a medical condition perhaps wearing tighter clothing or non-maternity clothing would be very uncomfortable or even painful for her. I feel bad that she has to deal with not only the medical condition but the emotional stuff as well. I am SURE she doesn't want to dress in her maternity stuff anymore..she might not have a choice.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Michele, I did not get judgement in Anna comment at all, I got her trying to justify why she came to that conclusion. If Anna was trying to be deliberately hurtful then yes, but as we all know Anna, that is not in her disposition.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Such a an easy mistake to make ... especially when you're pg!!! with all of that baby stuff on the brain anyway!!! But I'm sure she felt how sincere you were in your apology & how badly you felt. At least you weren't insensitive. I've heard some AWFUL comments by women. When a friend of mine announced her pg at another school, someone came to her and said ... Thank Goodness!! We were worried that you were putting on a lot of weight, dear.

But I think dropping it is best. It'll be ok after the initial awkwardness subsides!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

It wasn't Anna who I thought was being judgemental at all! Nubride said the women should "get the hint" and not dress pregnant anymore. Anna was not who I was commenting on.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Sorry, I did not read Nubride's comment at all. See that is why you need to start your post with the ref to the person to whom you are referring.

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Michele, I dont think problems with a c-section cause a "medical condition"...maybe im a bit naive on this, but how would it be considered a medical condition. Some lady's bellys never go down after pregnancies. I had some scarring and infection in my c-section, but its over and done with once its over and done with. I just think she still has belly-weight in the front that she never lost

Not have a choice but to dress in maternity? I think its possibly maternity-looking but I wouldnt definately say its maternity. There are many brands of loose clothing and sweatshirts out there, I cant see a *need* for someone to dress in maternity, if this were the case (which I dont think it is, I think the way her blouses fall and the shape of her belly make it look that way)... and besides maternity costs so much more, who would buy it unless they were preggo?

and Sorry, but I *never* ask the question either, if Im doubtful even a sinch of a percent, but I really had no doubt in my mind (make me feel worse by saying that ) (Guess I learned to never ask again period).

I dont think Nubride was being judgemental or offensive in what she said. If this was my mother or someone close to me, I would definately help them find better clothes, only to try to avoid any more comments of that nature. especially since she said it happens all the time It would only be in her best interest, so that she doesnt have to feel uncomfortable anymore...

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

I thought you said she looked like she was wearing maternity clothes Anna. But if she had a complication from a c-section I read that as meaning more than "I never lost the baby weight" maybe she had some real issues and has other medical problems now. A c-section is major surgery and I always treat it as such. But I wasn't there so I didn't hear how she spoke to you. I am just saying that it must be incrediably difficult to have had the baby and have people still think you are pregnant. I mean, I know that I am looking forward to being "myself" again, that's all.

You didn't ask to hurt her feelings or just because she was a bit overweight and I KNOW that you didn't mean her any harm and you were just looking for a fellow prego to share the school stuff with. I didn't think your motives were hurtful at all!

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

It did look maternity since I totally thought she was pregnant, but Im guessing its not since shes not preggo and doesnt want to look it..

I know a c-section is major surgery, Ive been there I just never thought someone can have problems with it so many years later. She seems pretty upbeat and healthy, but of course only she knows her personal problems..

I didnt mean for this post to get so drawn out

Re: I JUST OPENED MOUTH...AND INSERTED BIG GIANT FOOT !!! =(

Awww Anna ... push that thought out of your mind. It's okay. We all make mistakes and you did not mean it. I'm sure this woman saw the sincerity in your eyes when you apologized!! We are human ... and that's why there are erasers on pencils. We ALL make mistakes!!